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Love's Recovery - Indigo Girls

Nov. 10th, 2009 | 12:59 am
mood: artistic artistic

"Love's Recovery"

During the time of which I speak it was hard to turn the other cheek
To the blows of insecurity
Feeding the cancer of my intellect the blood of love soon neglected
Lay dying in the strength of its impurity
Meanwhile our friends we thought were so together
They've all gone and left each other in search of fairer weather
And we sit here in our storm and drink a toast
To the slim chance of love's recovery.
There I am in younger days, star gazing,
Painting picture perfect maps of how my life and love would be
Not counting the unmarked paths of misdirection
My compass, faith in love's perfection
I missed ten million miles of road I should have seen
Meanwhile our friends we thought were so together
Left each other one by one in search of fairer weather
And we sit here in our storm and drink a toast
To the slim chance of love's recovery.
Rain soaked and voice choked like silent screaming in a dream
I search for our absolute distinction
Not content to bow and bent
To the whims of culture that swoop like vultures
Eating us away, eating us away
Eating us away to our extinction
Oh how I wish I were a trinity, so if I lost a part of me
I'd still have two of the same to live
But nobody gets a lifetime rehearsal, as specks of dust we're universal
To let this love survive would be the greatest gift we could give
Tell all the friends who think they're so together
That these are ghosts and mirages, these thoughts of fairer weather
Though it's storming out I feel safe within the arms of love's discovery


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vegan recipes for ymmmmy stuff

Oct. 4th, 2009 | 01:12 pm
mood: happy happy
music: down down down "run like hell'

This is the easiest thing I think I have ever made, and it's only flaw is that it is lacking in vegetables.  Which means you must also have a bit of stir fry veggie along with it.  MUST.

Asian Rice Bowls

Cook some long grain rice, preferably brown basmati, but white if you don't have the taste for it.
2 cups uncooked rice plus 4 cups water = a lot of cooked rice!

1 package of silken tofu, extra firm
2 green onions
toasted sesame seeds (you take ordinary ones and toast them, ok?)
tamari (or soy if you don't have)
sesame oil

Chop the green onions, put them in a dish with 1 tsp sesame oil, a couple Tbsp of tamari, and then you cube the tofu and drop it in there.  Mix it about gently to coat the tofu.  Inhale.  MMMM.

Use a large spoon to scoop rice into 4 bowls.  Maybe 1 cup rice per bowl or less.  Then just plonk the tofu and sauce on top of the rice, dividing it evenly...and sprinkle some more chopped green onions and toasted sesame seeds on top.  OH!  I just thought of this - I wonder if gomasio, which is a macrobiotic seasoning made of ground sesame and sea salt, would be good sprinkled on top.  Probably salty but good.

Serves 4, don't forget the stir fry veggies!



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Make a Circuit With Me (lyrics)

Jun. 28th, 2009 | 12:44 am
mood: bouncy

A sweet romance is not for me
I need electricity
If you wanna make me flip
Hit me with a micro chip


I'll be a diode, cathode, electrode
Overload, generator, oscillator
Make a circuit with me

Just plug in and go-go-go
I'll be a human dynamo
Signals in my power cord
Impulse on my circuit board

I'm an AC/DC man
You can read my circuit diagram
I feed on electric jolts
I need fifty-thousand volts


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poetry slammed

Apr. 13th, 2009 | 03:09 am
mood: beat
music: nina simone

There was one
bore witness to the rays of the Sun
synthesized in her own image, photo negative, shun
the development of Parliament, the phallic bop-gun
Thus, the mother-ship connection spawned the birth of the drum
Ancient drum begat drum
Kingdom go, kingdom come
Ancient sector of the scepter risen up to the Sun
Hidden hand of man begat patented clone of the drum
Boom bap strapped into a wire, tightly coiled, and re-spun
trigger-sound, trigger-gun, drum-machine, machine-gun, bodies piled
carefully filed under beats that were once reprogrammed to become
unplugged concert of Sun
Every ray with sample clearance
Every two begat one
Boom-bop hard as a gun.
White cross-trainers, unstrung
Let these suckas know the cost of making Raisin run.

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(no subject)

Dec. 21st, 2008 | 06:32 pm
mood: hopeful hopeful


Some Children see Him lily white,
the Baby Jesus born this night.
Some Children see Him lily white,
with tresses soft and fair.
Some Children see Him bronzed and brown,
the Lord of heaven to earth come down;
Some Children see Him bronzed and brown,
with dark and heavy hair.

Some Children see Him almond eyed,
this Saviour whom we kneel beside,
Some Children see him almond eyed,
with skin of yellow hue.
Some Children see him dark as they,
sweet Mary’s Son to whom we pray;
Some Children see Him dark as they,
and ah! They love Him too.

The Children in each different place
will see the Baby Jesus’ face
Like theirs, but bright with heavenly grace,
and filled with holy light.
O lay aside each earthly thing,
and with thy heart as offering,
Come worship now the Infant King,
’tis love that’s born tonight!

 

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stalking josh's art.

Jul. 2nd, 2008 | 06:54 pm
mood: ecstatic ecstatic
music: blonde redhead "misery is a butterfly"


Habibi Ma Sar
by ~deck-as-ef on deviantART

i found this on josh e's deviantART site and i love it so much i want to...i don't know but i WANT. 

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the night of closed eyes

May. 31st, 2008 | 12:27 pm
mood: mellow mellow

 
 
Closed eyes drifting in dreams,
with only smiles hinting at their themes
and biting your lips
that's when the artist says "stop...that's it"
if not then do tell, do tell
 
what else is there?
the night of closed eyes
 
Tilting your head to the ceiling
and for a second I stop moving
For once I'm more connected
to something else then the Earth
Coins don't get tangled in souls
it's a different kind of worth
 
and I couldn't tally up the night
the night of closed eyes
the night of closed eyes
(its meaning is beyond price)
 
do tell...what else is there?



again...this is not my own.  reprinted with permission of the gifted author.
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The Nun's Litany

May. 31st, 2008 | 12:23 pm
mood: Delighted
music: nirvana - been a son

 
I want to be a playboy's bunny
I'd do whatever they asked me to
I'd meet people with lots of money
and they would love me
like I loved you

I want to be a topless waitress
I want my mother to shed one tear
I'd throw away this old sedate dress
slip into something a tad more sheer

I want to be an artists' model
An odalisque, au naturel
I should be good at spin-the-bottle
while I've still got something
left to sell

I want to be a cobra dancer
with Little Willy between my thighs
I may not find a cure for cancer
but I'll meet plenty of single guys

I want to be a brothel worker
I've always been treated like one
If I could be a back-street lurker
I'd make more money
and have more fun

I want to be a dominatrix
which isn't like me, but I can dream
learn S, and M,
and all those gay tricks
and men will pay me to
make them scream

I want to be a porno starlet
(for that I'll wait till Mama's dead)
I'll see my name in lights of scarlet
and get to spend every day in bed

I want to be a tattooed lady
dedicated, as I am, to art
Characters bold, complex and shady
will write my memoirs
across my heart.

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Where does the dance begin?

May. 15th, 2008 | 09:35 am
mood: contemplative contemplative

 

 

 

 

Where Does The Dance Begin, Where Does it End?

 

Don't call this world adorable, or useful, that's not it.

It's mischievous, and a theater for more than fair winds.

The eyelash of lightning is neither good nor evil.

The struck tree burns like a pillar of gold.

But the blue rain sinks, straight to the white

feet of the trees

whose mouths open.

Doesn't the wind, turning in circles, invent the dance?

Haven't the flowers moved, slowly, across Asia, then Europe,

until at last, now, they shine

in your own garden? 

Don't call this world an explanation, or even an education. 

When the Sufi poet whirled, was he looking

outward, to the mountains so solidly there

in a white-capped ring, or was he looking

to the center of everything: the seed, the egg, the idea

that was also there,

beautiful as a thumb

curved and touching the finger, tenderly,

little love-ring,

as he whirled

in the garden of dust?

 
* * * * *

All that is left
to us by tradition
is mere words.

It is up to us
to find out what they mean.

     ibn al-`Arabi, Tarjuman al-Ashwaq,

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Last Night the Rain Spoke to Me

May. 12th, 2008 | 08:17 am
mood: grateful grateful

Last Night the Rain Spoke to Me

Last night
the rain
spoke to me
slowly, saying,

what joy
to come falling
out of the brisk cloud,
to be happy again

in a new way
on the earth!
That's what it said
as it dropped,

smelling of iron,
and vanished
like a dream of the ocean
into the branches

and the grass below.
Then it was over.
The sky cleared.
I was standing

under a tree.
The tree was a tree
with happy leaves,
and I was myself,

and there were stars in the sky
that were also themselves
at the moment
at which moment

my right hand
was holding my left hand
which was holding the tree
which was filled with stars

and the soft rain -
imagine! imagine!
the long and wondrous journeys
still to be ours.

 

Monday4_2

Monday5

Monday6

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morning musing over music

May. 8th, 2008 | 12:09 pm
location: work
mood: crushed crushed
music: foo fighters - everlong

Hello
I've waited here for you
Everlong

Tonight I throw myself into
And out of the red
Out of her head she sang

Come down
And waste away with me
Down with me

Slow how
You wanted it to be
I'm over my head
Out of her head she sang

And I wonder
When I sing along with you
If everything could ever feel this real forever
If anything could ever be this good again
The only thing I'll ever ask of you
You've got to promise not to stop when I say when...she sang

Breathe out so I can breathe you in
Hold you in
And now I know you've always been
Out of your head
Out of my head I sang

And I wonder
When I sing along with you
If everything could ever feel this real forever
If anything could ever be this good again
The only thing I'll ever ask of you
You've got to promise not to stop when I say when
she sang

And I wonder
If everything could ever feel with real forever
If anything could be this good again
The only thing I'll ever ask of you
You got to promise not to stop when I say when


this morning the radio was playing an old foo fighters song, and that thing happened to me again.  you can hear a song played over and over and think 'yeah, good song' and not pay it a huge amount of attention.  and then years later you hear it one isolated time and it grabs you, viscerally, and makes tears form behind your eyelids. 

well.  no matter what the tears are for, i've gotta wipe my eyes and get back to work.



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On Coffee

Apr. 20th, 2008 | 02:35 pm
music: Amos Lee

Oh beautiful beverage of deliciousness, my pet, my Muse.... how wonderful you make me feel, how delightful you taste, and how impossible it would be for me to force myself out of bed in the morning without the idea of you awaiting me!

 One Thousand (ok maybe not) facts about Coffee


Coffee can be good for you -- and the stronger, the better. Coffee contains tannin and antioxidants, which are good for the heart and arteries. It can relieve headaches. It is good for the liver - it can help prevent cirrhosis and gallstones.  And the caffeine in coffee can reduce the risk of asthma attacks and help improve circulation within the heart.

Annual coffee consumption per capita in the United States:  4.2 kg.
Annual coffee consumption per capita in Ireland:  2.3 kg.

"Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and as sweet as love" - Turkish Proverb

A scientific report form the University of California found that the steam rising from a cup of coffee contains the same amounts of antioxidants as three oranges. The antioxidants are heterocyclic compounds which prevent cancer and heart disease.

After the decaffeinating process, processing companies no longer throw the caffeine away; they sell it to pharmaceutical companies.

Beethoven who was a coffee lover, was so particular about his coffee that he always counted 60 beans each cup when he prepared his brew.

Coffee as a medicine reached its highest and lowest point in the 1600's in England. Wild
medical contraptions to administer a mixture of coffee and an assortment of heated butter,
honey, and oil, became treatments for the sick. Soon after,  tea replaced coffee as the national
beverage.

Coffee Recipe from: 'Kitchen Directory and American Housewife' (1844);
"Use a tablespoonful ground to a pint of boiling water [less than a quarter of what we would
use today].  Boil in tin pot twenty to twenty-five minutes. If boiled longer it will not taste fresh and
lively.
Let stand four or five minutes to settle, pour off grounds into a coffee pot or urn.
Put fish skin or isinglass size of a nine-pence in pot when put on to boil or else the white
and shell of half an egg to a couple of quarts of coffee."

Coffee was first known in Europe as Arabian Wine.

Coffee, along with beer and peanut butter, is on the national list of the "ten most Recognizable odors."

Coffee, as a world commodity, is second only to oil.

Dark roasted coffees actually have LESS caffeine than medium roasts. The longer a coffee is roasted, the more caffeine burns off during the process.

Frederick the great had his coffee made with champagne and a bit of mustard.

In Japan, coffee shops are called Kissaten.

In Sumatra, workers on coffee plantations gather the world's most expensive coffee by following a gourmet marsupial who consumes only the choicest coffee beans. By picking through what he excretes, they obtain the world's most expensive coffee -'Kopi Luwak', which sells for over
$100 per pound.

In the 14th century, the Arabs started to cultivate coffee plants. The first commercially grown and harvested coffee originated in the Arabian Peninsula near the port of Mocha. In the 16th century, Turkish women could divorce their husbands if the man failed to keep his family's pot filled with coffee.

Jamaica Blue Mountain is often regarded as the best coffee in the world.

Japan ranks Number 3 in the world for coffee consumption.

Large doses of coffee can be lethal. Ten grams, or 100 cups over 4 hours, can kill the average

human.

Latte is the Italian word for milk. So if you request a latte' in Italy, you'll be served a

glass of milk.

October 1st is the official Coffee Day in Japan.

The coffee filter was invented in 1908 by a German homemaker, Melitta Benz, when she lined a tin cup with blotter paper to filter the coffee grinds.

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procrastination

Apr. 20th, 2008 | 02:22 pm
location: messy, paper-covered table
mood: creative creative





Hate to:

Fold it.
Clean it.
Cook it.
Save it.
Wash it.
Dust it.
Organize it.
Tidy it.
Pay it.
File it.




Love to:

Hang-out.
Imbibe.
Watch.
Rest.
Read.
Snuggle.
Eat.
Listen.
Write.
Paint.

While I may never have enough money to pay even my most basic of bills, I need servants. Not
just any kind of servant.

No.

Skilled, energetic, charming and fun servants with lots of interesting stories that love love
love to give backrubs a la Mimi Rogers or tickle-scratch my arms when I'm watching a movie or
can't fall asleep.

I need servants that have tons of money and don't mind doing this work for me, gratis.

I need cute-looking servants. I need really upbeat, but not annoyingly-upbeat servants. I need
servants that do not disagree with me, but merely underscore my pithy insights. I'm no dictator.

I'd be so very cool to them.

I procrastinate with the skill of a professional.


Ten Ways to Do It

1. Look up words I don't understand, even though I will never ever use them.  The more arcane, the better.
2. Mentally repeat: Just one more page.
3. Stare very hard at the laundry and attempt to use its' potential energy to get it to fold itself.
4. Agonize about my disorganization.
5. Make lists of 'to-do's' ...and then don't do ANY of 'em.
6. Kid myself that thinking about doing something means I actually DID something.
7. Meditate to cleanse my karma.  My karma is ALWAYS in need of a touch-up.  And meditating should never be confused with napping.
8. Read 'just until the end of this chapter'.
9. Play with paintshop, photoshop...basically any kind of shopping is good.
10. Get lost in a daydream.

I wonder if I am the only one? Can I polish my professional procrastinator proficiencies? If I
could only refine them to their most perfect economy of energy, I'd have more time to... erm...
procrastinate.





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Taking some E...

Apr. 5th, 2008 | 12:16 pm
location: kitchen table with coffee
mood: ecstatic ecstatic
music: blonde redhead

this is a fragment from a poem written 'off the cuff' by my supremely talented anonymous friend.   i wish i were allowed to give credit here, but until i am...




...and our stories will meet in the ether and mingle
and worries will sleep in the winter of the jungle
at the back of our minds, shadowlands, parading the one
track of daily grinds, until meadow bands serenading the sun
free our souls to shine
please the holes have become a shrine
an altar to cast some bones and forces that chant
or mutter about the past, phones with voices that say "can't"  ...





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A Bit of Oscar.

Apr. 5th, 2008 | 12:08 pm
location: kitchen table
mood: ecstatic ecstatic
music: blonde redhead "misery is a butterfly"






We Are Made One with What We Touch and See



We are resolved into the supreme air,
We are made one with what we touch and see
With our heart's blood each crimson sun is fair,
With our young lives each springimpassioned tree
Flames into green, the wildest beasts that range
The moor our kinsmen are, all life is one, and all is change.

With beat of systole and of diastole
One grand great life throbs through earth's giant heart,
And mighty waves of single Being roll
From nerveless germ to man, for we are part
Of every rock and bird and beast and hill,
One with the things that prey on us, and one with what we kill

One sacrament are consecrate, the earth
Not we alone hath passions hymeneal,
The yellow buttercups that shake for mirth
At daybreak know a pleasure not less real
Than we do, when in some freshblossoming wood
We draw the spring into our hearts, and feel that life is good

Is the light vanished from our golden sun,
Or is this daedalfashioned earth less fair,
That we are nature's heritors, and one
With every pulse of life that beats the air?
Rather new suns across the sky shall pass,
New splendour come unto the flower, new glory to the grass.

And we two lovers shall not sit afar,
Critics of nature, but the joyous sea
Shall be our raiment, and the bearded star
Shoot arrows at our pleasure! We shall be
Part of the mighty universal whole,
And through all Aeons mix and mingle with the Kosmic Soul!.

We shall be notes in that great Symphony
Whose cadence circles through the rhythmic spheres,
And all the live World's throbbing heart shall be
One with our heart, the stealthy creeping years
Have lost their terrors now, we shall not die,
The Universe itself shall be our Immortality!.


~Oscar Wilde 

every now & then Alex sends me something absolutely PERFECT.  this is today's perfect thing.

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Philosphy of Life

Mar. 15th, 2008 | 05:12 pm
location: my room
mood: contemplative contemplative
music: iron & wine



Philosophy of Life

 

You have to truly lose everything, to actually do anything you want to do. All these possessions, all these fears, all these hurts, everything of mourning, you look at it the other way and you see you're free. Struggling, but you're free, and that's where you go and just say Fuck It, and do what you want, use your energy to either stir people in your favor, or make ‘em shut up.

 

When you make peace with your problems, they don't seem like demons anymore, but angels!

 

You've gotta remember, the big thing, the million dollar factor here, our past... is fiction.  Every minute that passes behind becomes unreal. Our heads hold onto the memory because it did something to us, affected us, but really, it's not even real anymore. You're alive, you're in one piece, and the thing that scarred you made you stronger.  Can only give you hope that you can prevent it happening again, either to you or to someone else. But the good memories stay with us, and they will always be fact.

 

 

"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it.
You, me, nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't how hard you hit; it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done. Now, if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth."

 

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Scarlet Sea

Feb. 19th, 2008 | 01:25 am
mood: creative creative
music: belle & sebastian "seeing other people"

 

Scarlet Sea

 

A sleepy red sky in a dream,
where are the waking eyes
that act as an audience

to the scarlet sea

 

So set fire to me
so hot, so pure
I saw a scar bleed into the cool azure
of the sky,
over the scarlet sea

I don’t lose sleep,
I fight it off for you,
so when we speak you with sun,
me with moon.

 

I saw the trail from my prison,
it was beautiful, like a soul through
a prism.
Fall into the scarlet sea.

and here I thought I was a philistine,
in another dream I caught a scarf and
it was carmine.

Dreams of Indian, Ochre and Vermillion,
but of all the reds I'm seeing
you are radiant crimson.

A sleepy red sky when I wake,
Where are the sleepy eyes,
that are missing this?
Their mistake.

E.

 


....i meant to put this in here ages ago.  i hope its okay.

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Memory Creates The Past

Feb. 10th, 2008 | 01:48 pm

 

Memory creates the past

"We usually believe that the past creates memory. Real events occurred in the real past and we remember them -- but in fact that's only half the truth. The other half, every bit as important, is that memory creates the past. We are actively constructing our own past right now every bit as much as we create our own future...The past exists only in our minds and our minds are easily changeable and so the past itself become malleable as well." 

Hardcore Zen, p.77.

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A Bit of the Tao

Feb. 10th, 2008 | 01:47 pm

 

When people see some things as beautiful,
Other things become ugly.
When people see some things as good,
Other things become bad.

Being and non-being create each other.
Difficult and easy support each other.
Long and short define each other.
High and low depend on each other.
Before and after follow each other.

Therefore the Master
Acts without doing anything
And teaches without saying anything.
Things arrive and she lets them come;
Things disappear and she lets them go.
She has but doesn't possess,
Acts but doesn't expect.
When her work is done, she forgets it.
That is why it lasts forever.

Tao - Chapter 2

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Fuck Senseless

Jan. 31st, 2008 | 11:42 pm
location: home
mood: grateful grateful
music: joshua radin

fuck senseless   

 

by E., who knows who he is and that he's always gonna be a better poet than i am dammit  lol

you know the way, romance ever elusive

and the opinions of the teenager ever divisive

I jumped into what most people avoid

just because you're celibate, don't get fucking annoyed

blame the others who for once

if it makes the slightest difference

are blameless

but you're wasting away bitter

while they fuck senseless

 

you got lost in the tunnel like a particularly honeyed Alice

never trust a "drink me" sign next to a potentially

poisoned chalice

and don't get caught up with all the "I supposes"

in this world very few people come up smelling of roses

you need someone to take you under their wing

and relate to you the nuances of such a fragile thing

but the lips of those you want remain nameless

words flying off the tongues of those that

fuck senseless

 

your mind boggles when you think of this as commonplace

everyone you meet in your everyday life at one time or another

puts on that face

the man who sells you bread, who runs that bar, the plumber, 

the librarian 

everyone sleeps in some bed, or back of a car, wears a rubber, 

hopes it's not tearing

as they have their wicked way, fornicate, coitus, get off, go down

as sure as night comes after day, it’s a trait, a point of focus, a laugh, a noun

I want that clear destination, that place to rest friends

while people fuck, fuck senseless, as means to personal ends

 

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